So, I (Christina) did a “birthstory” for Hank (http://www.henryhynds.com/old-site/stories/birthday.html) right after he was born. Although it is quite short with not much details, I am super happy that I did one for comparison between Ellie Mae and him.
For Hank, I really LOVED being pregnant. The hormones (perhaps his testosterone) had me in a perpetual euphoria from 2nd trimester all the way up to his birth. It was so wonderful that I recall telling Bob on a number of occasions: “I could deal with a 2nd trimester belly fat for the rest of my life if I could feel this way all the time.”
For Ellie, it was the EXACT OPPOSITE. It was 9 months of misery. My hormones were out of whack and my brain just couldn’t manage/process the mood swings. And it just got worse and worse with every month that past by. If I had Ellie first, I probably would not want to go through another pregnancy. Oh, it was also 9 months of misery for Bob too. 🙁
The two pregnancies were definitely different. I ran with Hank all the way up until 32 weeks and continued to exercise all the way up to 36 weeks. With Ellie, my not-so-good energy was 100% used on keeping up with Hank that I virtually did no exercise what-so-ever. If I wasn’t taking Hank to the playground, music together classes, swimming, etc., I was found on the couch desperately trying to catch a nap that never really happened. The insomnia with Ellie was the worst. At 36 weeks pregnant, I had such bad insomnia due to hormones that I had no sleep for five days straight. The sleep deprivation caused me to cry uncontrollably during the days (poor Hank… it was really disconcerting for him to see me crying!). Hank, with a concerned voice, would ask me “Mommy, is Ellie Mae being a trouble maker?”
She definitely was a trouble maker! I never had Braxton Hicks with Hank. With Ellie, I started having them in late 2nd trimester!
It was after the 36-weeks bout of insomnia, that Bob and I really felt that Ellie Mae would be coming early. So, I decided to dial back all the activities I had scheduled for Hank and took it upon myself to take it super easy. This meant me skipping Father’s Day weekend in order to have some quiet time, and try to sleep as much as possible. It also meant me packing my hospital bag and getting as much organizing of Ellie’s stuff done as possible.
The day after the start of my 37 weeks of pregnancy, something changed. It was like a light bulb switched on in my brain and I felt ENERGIZED. There was so much energy surging through me and just a feeling of goodness, that I went crazy with organizing the house, cleaning it, and just preparing for Ellie to come. Because I felt so good, I told Bob that I was no longer worried about her coming early.
Friday June 22nd rolls around (37 weeks and 3 days pregnant), and I am feeling the pressure to get the upstairs completed to move Hank into his own bedroom and have a guest bedroom ready for my mom. I was feeling like this could not be achieved over the weekend with Hank around to bother Bob and I. So, I decided on the spur of the moment to ask my mom to take Hank along with her to Orlando. She didn’t really want to take him as she planned Saturday a day of her doing things with Hank’s cousin Sarah and wasn’t sure she could handle Hank as well. However, because my mom lives for her children and probably because she could hear my desperation, she said “yes” to taking him with her. Her taking Hank was a major blessing! Who would have ever thought I would be going into labor just 12 hours later?!
After my mom and Hank left, Bob and I kicked into high gear to start moving furniture, installing bed frames, etc. upstairs. I went crazy organizing and reassembling all of Hank’s old baby gear in preparation for Ellie. It was around 10pm that Bob and I felt good about what we had accomplished and decided to get ready to relax in bed and watch some TV. I went upstairs for the last time to stow away a storage bin under the guest bed, and as I stowed it away, I thought to myself “I am all organized. I am ready for Ellie Mae to come.” And with that thought, I stood up and found my water breaking!!! This was around 10:15 pm. I ran downstairs shouting “Bob you aren’t going to believe this!” He interrupted with “What? Your water broke?”
So, we both took showers, I grabbed my hospital bag and went to Sarasota Memorial Hospital. We arrived there at around 11:00 pm. I was told that everyone’s water was breaking that night (one nurse claims it is due to atmospheric pressure changes). I was in a labor and delivery room at around 11:30 pm. I measured 3cm dilated and fully effaced. I was told that I was “ripe” for delivery! The head delivery nurse’s name was Jessica which was the name of Hank’s delivery nurse. That somehow comforted me because I really loved Hank’s delivery nurse. I told this to Jessica when she told me her name. I ended up liking this Jessica a lot as well! Delivery nurses are awesome!
Although my water broke, I was not having any real consistent contractions. They were sporadic and uncomfortable, but not too painful. I was super worried that I would have to be given Pitocin like I was given with Hank’s delivery. However, around 12am (now Saturday June 23rd), the contractions started to come on hard and fast. I was measuring 6cm dilated. So, this is when I found out that I truly had back labor with Hank (his position was posterior) and that I was also having back labor with Ellie. At 1am, I was trying to assess whether or not I should get an epidural. My contractions were coming on hard and almost just as painful as I had them with Hank. I described to Bob that the contractions with Hank felt like someone was hammering directly onto my lower spine and the pain from it would vibrate down through my pelvis and legs. This was beginning to happen with Ellie. If labor was going to continue for many hours, I did not think I would be able to endure it. Jessica felt that I had many hours to go. So, I decided to go with the epidural. I received it at 2am. Ellie Mae came at 3:23am. Jessica liked to point out that I pushed Ellie Mae out in just only one contraction (!).
Active labor with Hank was a total of 4 hours. Active labor with Ellie Mae was a total of 3 1/2 hours. Pushing only took 15 minutes for Hank. Pushing for Ellie Mae was not even 5 minutes! All the nurses liked to point out that she was pushed in just one contraction. <– I have no idea why they made such a big deal out of this fact.
So, here’s my take on the epidural. I am just a tinge disappointed in myself that I got the epidural with Ellie Mae since labor wasn’t for that long. I probably could have endured it. HOWEVER, with the epidural, I was able to relax and truly enjoy the one hour and half long skin-to-skin breastfeeding session with Ellie Mae directly after delivery. With Hank, the whole delivery was extremely traumatic for me. I remember holding Hank, trying to focus on skin-to-skin bonding but couldn’t. I remember saying to my mom that I feel awful because I really couldn’t enjoy bonding in that moment with Hank. My brain was still processing the trauma I had gone through. To be honest, it took two weeks for me to process and move on from that trauma (it didn’t help that I had hemorrhaged the night of Hank’s delivery).
I will be telling anyone who asks me about whether they should get an epidural or not: “If you want to enjoy your baby, putting a 100% of your focus on them right after delivery, then get the epidural.”
On a final note, Hank was born 6 days early. Ellie Mae born 2 1/2 weeks early. Hank was born 6 lbs 9 oz and 20 inches long. Ellie Mae was born 6 lbs 10 oz and 19 inches long. The hospital for Hank measured him an inch too short (so his hospital tag incorrectly shows 19 inches in length). The hospital’s delivery scale for Ellie Mae was off by an ounce (so her hospital tag incorrectly shows 11 ounces).